reproze

  Rojas snorted. "Can't wait to hear this." "Ye've always gotta nay say, don't ya, ya prickly bastard?" said Captain Magella Brün. Rojas was an old pad foot who had claimed to have hung up his lock picks. But thieving is an occupation with a nasty habit of tempting its practitioners with just one more job... He shrugged in that pompous way he did. "Our line of work demands wit. A little linguistic agility, wouldn't you say? And if I may be so bold, my mind is among the finest on the island. And even I can't see how on earth thieving would ever rise to the standard of honest work." "See, that's yer problem, Rojas. Ye use that silver tongue of yers too much, and that cow manure brain not enough." "Humph," he said, like he always did when he didn't have a counterargument. "Very well. But if I'm to listen to drivel, I may as well wash it down with something." He held up a finger for the man behind the bar, who went to work grabbing bottles and fruits like an alchemist of old. Within moments, Rojas had a fresh drink in hand. Never would he have thought rum to be an appropriate drink for such tropical climates. But goodness, the things the locals could do with citrus... "See, here's how I sees it," said Magella Brün. "Ye've paid taxes before, yeah?" "No." "Ha! Right, should have figured. But ye're aware of the general concept of taxation, yes?" "Of course." "Well, supposin' you were a tax payer, where does all that gold and silver go after the magistrate has lightened yer pockets?" He shrugged. "The betterment of the colony, of course." "An answer as weak as your scruples, man. Be specific! How do those taxes better the colony?" "I em...road improvements. The fire brigade, certainly..." "Ye think the funds from every taxpayin' citizen only goes as far as replacing a few stones and throwing an extra coin or two to the local volunteers?" He couldn't answer. So he sipped. "Ah, mouth is full," Brün teased. "I'll answer for ye – ye've no idea. Nor I. Nor anyone on this island. Those coins clink in the bottom of the tax man's burlap and that's it. No accounting for what happens after." "Humph," he said, leaning back and placing his boots onto the table. "Ay, new footwear, Rojas? Mighty handsome." "Oh! Thank you!" he said, his vanity thus sated. "Paid a pretty penny for them, as you might have guessed." "Mmm. Why?" "Well...the vendor assured me of their superior quality." "And what does that mean? Think harder, man! Ye were bragging about your wit not moments ago!" "Em...well they'll last long. And look nicer for longer." "It's leather, ya dumb bastard! Ye just described every boot on this bloody island! It just needs the occasional polish and it's fine!" she said, beginning her attack. "While we're at it, can ye trust the word of this boot vendor?" "Goodness, Brün, I don't know. I met the woman once!" "And invested yer money in his opinion. A stranger whose job it is to part ye from yer coin." His face turned red. "Humph," he said yet again. "Truth is, ye have no idea how much that cobbler overcharged ye by. Maybe she didn't! Or maybe ye got ripped off. Ye'll never know." He waved his hands, frustrated. "Enough wind-up, Brün. What does all this have to do with us?" "Ye remember the Alvarez job? Made off with the lockbox full of goodies and that fancy candelabra?" "The one next to me? Of course. I love this piece," he said, touching his hand to it. She nodded. "And what did the wanted posters say? Information wanted for stolen..." "Gems, dollar notes, and an antique candelabra." She slapped her hands on the table, satisfied that her thesis had just landed a killing blow. "Don't ye see, lad? We have the professional courtesy of fiscal transparency, we do! Taxman won't tell ye where yer money goes. Nor the cobbler. But thieves? We send an invoice, lad. It might be an invoice of exclusion, but it's an invoice all the same." "And thus..." he began. "...and honest trade," she finished. He sipped his cocktail and cracked a smile. "What quip just crawled up into that besotted brain of yours?" "I was just thinking," he said. "Perhaps it's you that has the silver tongue."